Huge Dilema
So, here I sit my evening shattered.
I just received a call from my wifes mother. It turns out that my wifes sister has been diagnosed with AML or Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Well, she was diagnosed on the 21 and started treatments immediately. She has wanted to tell my wife and didn't want to get me involved, but she's totally devastated. This is her youngest child, and nobody wishes for this to happen.
The sister doesn't want anyone to tell my wife because she knows that she's in this workshop, a once in a lifetime opportunity and even if she finds out there is nothing that she could do, other than be there for moral support.
If I told my wife, she would be devasted and it would probably ruin her last two weeks at the workshop, but if I don't tell her then am I robbing her of knowing? Her sister doesn't want her to know, she doesn't want to destroy her opportunity.
So what do I do? Do I tell my wife, devastate her and ruin her last two weeks at the workshop. Or even worse, have her leave the workshop early? Or do I not tell her and wait until she gets back, and if I do that, am I a bastard?
I have no idea what to do, I think I'm in the position of I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. If I do, then I'll be making her life miserable and if I don't then I'll be keeping something from her.
What do I do?
posted by Delgar at
9:33 PM
2 Comments:
I was in your wifes positionn only 5 or 6 weeks ago. Basically, I'd say if the treatment is going as expected and she will still be in the same or better condition when your wife is done in 2 weeks I'd say wait. If there's a chance that in the next two weeks her sister will be come significantly worse or, I hate to say this, die, I'd tell her.
My family waited to tell me until I was done my final exams and I didn't hold it against them at all. I still don't even though I didn't get home in time. I understand why they made the choice they did and that not even the doctors expected it to end how it did.
But, if you don't tell her tell her as soon as she's done, even before she's home. If you do tell her make sure she knows everything and can decide for herself if she is to come home early based on the difference it would make to her sister. It sounds like her sister has people around to help her for the two weeks. Also, keep her informed about all changes in the treatment in case she wants to change her mind and let her have a few conversations with her sister.
That was long but I hope it helps.
By
Celia, at 10:23 PM
sorry I haven't been around much. I had changed work stations and lost my book marks.
wow. this is a toughie. I would say not to tell her at this point. I agree with celia, that conditions might improve before she gets back, too. What you may want to consider is a gentle lead in before she comes home "every thing is okay right now, no need to panic or come home, but there is something going on". something to that effect. the difference between "the car is totalled" and "don't be alarmed, but there has been an incident"
*hug* luck to you. Luck to your sis in law.
By
Becks, at 9:45 AM
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