The Final Day

So, this is it. This is my last day of Bachelorhood. I survived 6 weeks without my wife, she's coming home tomorrow afternoon. Right now I should be cleaning, but I'm having a hard time getting to it. I have started a bit but I have a long way to go before the house is ready for her return. I also need to head out and buy a few things from the store, like flowers and gifts and food. I'm so looking forward to her return.

The funniest thing is that she's been away for so long and I just kept myself busy for the last 5 weeks doing things, working hard at work, avoiding thinking and over analyzing things. But, yesterday it all came to the surface. All my fears, my doubts, my concerns, my worries. For 5 weeks I was able to stuff them down somewhere deep inside and make it through the time, but yesterday they decided to force themselves free.

What brought it all about was I was investigating the workshop she was attending a little further to find and read stories of broken marriages, broken relationships and hook-ups a far. But, that didn't really concern me, or so I thought. Why would she stray, but then why does anyone stray? These thoughts plagued me throughout the day, but what I think my major concern was. How much will she have changed? Will she still look at me in the same way? Will she still love me?

Why do these thoughts plague me so? It really shouldn't be a concern, but I couldn't shake them, they ruined my day and my night.

Today is different though. I think I realized that stressing myself out about things beyond my control is a waste of my energy. I know that this workshop will have changed her in some way, but I'm sure I have too. I know that the past 6 weeks have given me a chance to think about our life and our future. About our relationship, about our past, about a great many things.

I can't wait for her to get home so that I can hug her and hold her and hear all about her workshop, and see how's she's grown and changed. I look forward to it and I can't wait for tomorrow to arrive.

But in the meantime I have a whole Hellava lot a cleaning to do. Does any know the number of a good cleaning service?